Cynthia of the light

      As Parents, we're living the biggest challenging times so far ever. From being Teachers, stay home employees, first time counselors, mediators, cooks, ready to sacrifice time heroes, first time Walmart shopping lover, tired of daily words like hope, faith, one day at a time, this too shall pass, Netflix bingers, social media experts, first time bakers, gardeners, crazy "I work on my pajamas/under ware" admitters, "I will never forgive him/her, finally you made that call crying like Baby" freeing your heart from that toxic emotion new human being!      But most important, as Parents we still have the privilege of knowing maybe for the first time who our children are, really watching, really listening. I believe that during this life changing opportunity we all cried a little (or maybe a bit to much) the uncertainty gave in, but somehow we found a beautiful human in us capable of helping our kids to conquer their fears, and sometimes finding that is ok ...

     I'm always concern on the things that make me weak. I discovered that one of them is loving to much, I keep asking my self right at that moment when I lay down on my pillow if I gave enough love today to my children?      Did my actions reflect what my heart has for them? If someone ask them how does your mom loves you, would they answer what I expected to say, like: "She hugs us to much, and she cooks good food" I really think that they are going to answer something like: "She's always stressed" "But I know she loves us" Was that for me, one more check mark to please my never satisfied soul? Or was it really to glorify The Lord? I believe it's a Mom thing to master the idea of "Balancing the Woman, the Mom, the wife, the friend, the social media expert, the perfect daughter"    I just want to contrast all that "daily doing & overthinking" with some really listening to my beautiful soul, some more meditation and not...

      I am the best for me and the best that I will never will be in anybody else's eyes.      I am the best of me and not the best of what I do, but because of what I believe I am capable of doing for me, I am capable of accepting that it will be no other human like me, and I am a twin!      I destroyed the stupid idea of insecurity based on people's opinions of me, I am fully approved & loved by my creator, I am the best of Cynthia, the best version of her is in the making, never stopping for criticism only to care & listening and continue with my journey, there is so much imperfection to embrace & cultivate during my passing on this earth, that becomes the best part of every merciful morning.

 I don't know if this happens to you so often, but it is almost time for me to start making dinner when of course I have the best ideas to start writing something, my kids are talking online with their friends while playing their video games, so the environment is full of voices, I thought, maybe is the voices the ones that help me get the character's voices that I need to create for my book that I haven't write, and then I remember that I need to go back and finally start writing something, I know I have something good to write like everybody does, and so my mind wonders so much, and I go into that annoying every day while I shower, while I drive, while I cook, while I sleep "how should I name my book in the first place?"      Like that is going to solve anything, like that would give the rest of the pages of my book. It is frustrating how focus I am with the glorious title, I think I have seen so many, I have red so many of them, I seen them in the news, in soci...