Cynthia of the light

     It sounds like a cliché phrase is in it?      As painful as it sounds, it has been like this through all our history, a topic of our fascination, why is love sometimes painful?      I guess we have it all wrong since the beginning, well, let me see, let me try to remember my own experience, I was watching so many stupid-romantic soap operas, to much Shakespeare in middle school, my parents fighting, the catholic church talking about "love is kind" and then making us pray for hours on our knees, then came marriage and divorce, your get the picture, so yeah, sometimes love is painful.      When it always made me feel like I was riding a role coaster, I was also trying to understand it, I was trying to make sense of it, always trying to analyze what I wasn't suppose to even think about, just feel it!        When I got connected with the source of eternal Love: Jesus, I just stop my suffering, no matter how...

      It's been a quite a journey these past couple of years on my searching of answers on why do I not want to belong to a Church anymore, I just don't feel it anymore, I don't have it in my to belong to some sort of cult, organization, guidance, trouble, you name it. An still I felt like I was not cooperating with the Church, or doing the right thing, or following the commandments, and I'm still paying my tithings, only not following the rules, I'm following Jesus, I'm following all the good stuff I learned through the years from being in one church to another, and I am thankful for that.      But I knew that something sparked inside of me, something that I didn't exactly knew until I kept on asking God for answers, I guess you can say that it took quite a while for me to figure it out, but now, I think I got it, by reading the scriptures and several books on the knowledge of Jesus, ancient wisdom, meditation, and the power within me given by God, I found...

      Gold, precious metal, stone, I don't even know what it is, what I do know is that people like it,  and I think I like it to, and when I say I think I like it is because I'm not sure why I like it, I know that I like it because if I buy a necklace or a ring that I intent to keep forever, this precious metal will do that for me.      Yesterday I was watching The Chosen, a beautifully made series made for all mankind to watch and know the real life of Jesus's disciples, and of course, the life of Jesus himself.      There He was behind curtains almost ready to give His most famous sermon: "The Sermon on the Mount", and there were Mary, His mother, Mary Magdalene, and two other women suggesting Him that due to the importance of this event, He should stand out from the crowd, that He should be wearing a bright color against His oath color clothing that He was wearing. So He was offered different colors to wear: Purple for Royalty, wine,...

      I see it everywhere. Every time I meditate I see it. Light everywhere, even the word it self comes to my mind and I can see it and hear it. What is this?...      I know Jesus is the Light, God is the Light, and now, I repeat this mantra everyday in my morning meditation, I AM THE LIGHT, I even stop when I finished typing it, how powerful this is!      I was talking with my sister the other day, about the weather, yeah "The weather", it may sound like we didn't have anything else to talk about, and yet, we were having a long week of non-stop rainy days, so yeah, the topic came as fluent as the wind. She was saying that she believes the wind is the most powerful force of nature, and I suggested water to be strongest one, and now that I am writing about the light, I have my doubts.      I can think that only that light can have the strongest force of all. Only the light can create and destroy anything, think the sun, the fir...

      I think that birds communicate with me. I now believe this, it's been something that I fantasize with maybe since I was a little girl watching Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty talking and singing together with the birds, a happy moment every time! Is like I have been asking for different things in my life to happen, and then the birds start singing or manifesting every where, in movies, when I open my phone looking for something in particular and the first thing that appears is a bird, or late at night when suddenly I wake up in the middle of the night to go potty, and there, I can hear a bird singing, and I think: "I wish I can talk bird" An now, every morning when I take my dog out, the first thing I hear before even recognizing the omnipresence of God almighty, is the birds greeting me, is like they saw me coming out and they start to sing Good morning!, how are you this morning?...what song do you want us to sing for you in this magical day?....I know, it's sou...

      I have been researching, reading and procrastinating a lot over the past 2 years about this book of mine that I haven't written yet, I want to, I do, I really want to, and I have a million excuses of why I haven't even started one single line of my dream book, I don't even know what the book is about, is it fiction, non fiction, a combination of drama and part of my own life, fiction, comedy and a lot of injustice like I think my life has been?      Sometimes I think that I want to write a novel, and this novel has to be about me and my twin sister, of course it has to be fiction, with a lot of true life facts, and the permission of a lot of people from this world and the other across the other side of the rainbow, because the things that I'm going to write about the events and the people involved in them, will hit the fan and shit will fly 360 degrees around the world and some other life realms they have no idea they for real existed.     ...

      It's been said that miracles happen every day, maybe to holy people, or to people that believe in them. Weather you call it miracles, coincidences, born with a gift, or just luck, the fact is that they do happen only with the simple awareness of feeling the words in your mind every single morning right when you wake up and say: "I am ready to receive a miracle today" and you magically manifest it in your life, don't believe me?...try it...just a piece of advice, think and feel good thoughts, positive thoughts, because they're about to get real, and you don't want to ended up with a bad piece of advice that takes you right exactly where you are right now or worst.      Yesterday morning I was disappointed from people a truly love, which is pretty much what happens every time, the people you care the most is the same people ( family members ) who disappoint you right when you thought they are the best thing that could happen to you, thank you God that I...

      This is the title that I want to name it, only in reality is really a time of searching, and writing, and maturing, a time of thanksgiving, a time to look for the signs, a time of renewal, a time to be my higher self, a time to let go of the past, a time to forget the person that I thought I was, and ask God so kindly to reveal to me who id the beautiful creature He created, and what is my purpose.     I recognize now the difference between being tired of walking with my own feet, and let God show me which path to take, only, the struggle between my human part and my spiritual part are in a daily battle that I feel really exhausted these days, and of that too I am aware now. It has been an amazing journey this new achieved spiritual life that I am trying to keep up and understand at the same time, I watch from the outside sometimes, and other times, from the inside just to see where exactly this new life is taking me to, just because I am not taking this j...